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Barley Maid

S>Wedding Ring

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In the jewelers market there is a wedding ring, maged one chance, with my signature on it. Although it is a bit pricier than most wedding rings, this ring comes with the benefit of an S tier waifu.

If you present this ring to me, you will gain the hand of Barley-Maid, which confers the following benefits:


  • At minimum, one Barley every day traded to you at your convenience.
  • Excellent sandwiches.
  • The finest Sadida in the land.
  • Wonderful conversationalist.
  • Did I mention she is S tier?


Act now, at a mere 10mk this incredible offer is not likely to last long.


Edited by Barley Maid
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As the fires raged outside, Barley stayed quiet and sat very still, just like her mother had told her. Griselda was standing at the window, looking out at their approaching doom.

"Barley, my girl," she said, "I don't think mama's gonna make it out of this one."

Barley tilted her head, not understanding.

"We've got to hide you, sweetie. What they don't burn, they will take." Griselda sighed. "Mama can't stop them, there are too many."

Griselda searched the house frantically, and found a solution in the side room. The cellar door was a small, wooden affair, with a latch of heavy iron, which opened directly into a storeroom below.

Griselda walked over to her daughter and grabbed her by the hand.

"This is for your own good, honey," Griselda said as she tossed her daughter into the storeroom, to land on the immense stack of barley that cushioned the brief fall.

"Be quiet down there, I'm gonna tell one of the town folk that you're hidden here so they can get you once the raid is over."

Barley stretched her arm toward the faint light coming from the opened cellar door.

"Mama, don't go," she said, though no tears came to her eyes. She had been a hard girl, raised in a hard family. The fields were all she knew.

Griselda hesitated, then took one of the sprigs of barley in her hand and twisted it into a loop.

"Put this around your neck," Griselda said, and tossed it down to Barley.


The door shut.


To be continued.


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Griselda took a step back from the door, and looked around for something to conceal the cellar door with. Settling on the chest of drawers nearby, she quickly pushed it over the latch and made sure that no part of the door underneath showed. She turned to the window again, and the bandits were almost upon her. There looked to be twenty or so, most on foot - but some mounted - and more than a few armed with bows and arrows. Griselda opened the front door and walked out, determined to get to the village or die in the attempt.


With the fury of an enraged bear protecting her young, Griselda struck. She threw her left arm to the side, and a massive manifold bramble dismounted the nearest group, killing four bandits in the process. Upon hearing the twang of bowstrings, she immediately raised a tree in front of her, which the arrows bounced harmlessly off. 


The leader of the bandits shouted, trying to organize his men, and Griselda called upon an aggressive bramble that severed him - and his horse - in two. The pause to cast cost Griselda, however, as an arrow sliced into her shoulder and stuck. She rotated around the tree to keep it between her and the archers, then snapped three brambles off in succession, killing a sword bearer with each one.


With archers now on both sides of the tree, Griselda knew her fight was near its end, and she cast her most desperate spell yet. She put her hand to the earth and called upon a bramble, which impaled her palm. The blood bramble sunk back into the earth, creating an enormous bulge resembling an underground bubble. The bulge rolled towards the bandits, and as arrows peppered Griselda, the blood bramble - now larger than a house - erupted from the ground and smashed nine more bandits into pieces.


As she lay dying, the surviving two bandits approached her.


"What a waste," said one, "I don't think there's anything worth it in the hut."

"She might be," said the other, pointing to Griselda and chuckling.


Barely conscious, Griselda performed one last act of defiance. A bramble broke from the ground and delivered a crushing blow to the second bandit's groin. It did not kill him, but rendered him impotent for the rest of his life - and was quite painful besides.


Griselda finally succumbed. The three arrows had taken their toll, and Barley was orphaned.


To be continued(?)


P.S - After doing the math, the daily barley gift would pay for the wedding ring after a mere 1461 years, assuming current market value of the cereal stays constant at 19 kama. A very practical return on investment, imho.



Edited by Barley Maid

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I'm not entirely sure what I've just read. 

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19 minutes ago, greninja said:

im interested in this comic , please do add pictures

Outside of my skill set, unfortunately. :(

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2 hours ago, Barley Maid said:

Outside of my skill set, unfortunately. :(

theres still the offer i made you :(, narration...

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Side note: Wasn't planning to bring Griselda back, but I was given an in-game offer I can't refuse. 


Cheers \o


Griselda came to several hours later, finding her wounds bandaged and the bandits lying dead beside her. Arrows protruded from their chests, they had been shot through the heart.


"And I'm to blame," said a dark cra with eyes of ice. He sat beside her with a pack of medicinal herbs.


"Name's Glass," he said, "Parting Glass."


Griselda nodded weakly, still badly out of sorts from the blood loss.


She did manage, however, to inquire after her daughter.


Glass' eyes widened, he looked over to the house - or rather the burnt remains of it.


Griselda followed his gaze,  let out a wail.


"My girl!" she said, tears wetting her cheeks.


The thunder of Dragoturkeys could be heard - they were coming, and in number.


"We need to get out of here," Glass said, and hoisted Griselda onto the back of his seemyool.


They rode hard, leaving the farmlands far behind them.


In the cellar, a small whimper could be heard.

Edited by Barley Maid
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Barley sat against a tree - exhausted, sweaty, and covered with grime. She'd crawled through a small drainage hole in the cellar, which had opened up to a lake surrounding a tiny island.


As she caught her breath, an animated skeleton rushed her, standing over her with brandished blade. Barley curled up, awaiting her fate, when a sword appeared seemingly from the heavens, reducing the skeleton to a pile of bones.


"Are you alright?" came a voice.


Barley opened her eyes to see a woman standing before her. Though she appeared to be healthy, her waist-length hair was a pale green. She wore a black tunic with a purple cross that ran the length of it - a disciple of Iop, and a mighty one at that.


"Where's my mum," Barley asked, hoping to find some way - any way - back home.


The Iop shook her head softly.


"I can't help you find your mother," she said, "But I can help you find a home."


She offered Barley a hand, and soon they were on their way to Bonta.



Edited by Barley Maid
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