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Genie Game!

1996 posts in this topic

Granted, but now you are forced to go to a shit school and want to hurt yourself even more. You get diagnosed with chronic depression and thus fail forever.

 

I wish that I could get my audio drivers to work properly, that holidays lasted forever, that I had more money and that there were no stresses in life.

Edited by Sommanker

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You are installing your audio drivers for the umpteenth time when an electrical shock courses through your computer system  and electrocutes the shit out of you. After you regain consciousness, you check your audio drivers - they are working perfectly! Unfortunately, the electrical shock has rendered you permanently deaf.

 

I wish for once I could overcome my laziness and actually be productive.

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Damn, you're more creative than me with those counters.

 

Granted, you now have the ability to overcome your laziness and be productive. However, you must now procrastinate for at least three days per hour of productivity.

 

I wish that I had a (far) better short-term memory.

Edited by Sommanker

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(shit my wish actually came true that's how i work for real)

 

Granted. You now can remember perfectly what happened in the last 15 minutes. Everything before that? Not so much.

 

I wish that I could still have the set I had on the tourney server. :'(

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Granted, but you get permabanned the next day for hacking your set back from tourney server.

 

I wish I was more easily pleased, and therefore more contented and therefore happier with life in general.

 

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Granted. You are now tickled pink by anything even slightly positive, to the point that seeing somebody smile floods your brain with enough dopamine that you have no ability to function normally. This is now your life. You are always pleased and never conscious.

 

I wish that I crit 100% of the time. 

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Granted, you now get critical failures 100% of the time.

 

I wish ogrines were cheaper, like they used to be.

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Granted, Ogrines are as cheap as they were when they first came out. Unfortunately, this has been achieved by a rollback to that point in time. Everyone quits in disgust.

 

I wish that I had perfect skin.

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Granted, your skin cells were replaced by perfect, flawless ones. Unfortunately, your body rejects these cells and kills them all, leading to your painful death in the process.

 

I wish that my £150 hard drive, which I already had repaired once, would fucking work. At the moment it disconnects itself all the time leading to corruption and malfunctions.

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Your hard now works perfectly - in any computer not owned by you.

 

I wish that I could teleport. Driving is getting old.

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Granted, but you can only teleport to the Galapagos Islands.

 

I wish I was better at general knowledge quizzes.

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Granted, it's just a shame you now suck dick at popular culture. 

 

I wish someone other than Scour and Sommanker would reply to this... ;)

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Granted, but only Uthman may reply now.

I wish 2017 will be a good year.

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Hi

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On 31/12/2016 at 0:30 AM, xjoost said:

Granted, but only Uthman may reply now.

I wish 2017 will be a good year.

Granted, but the zombie apocalypse will come in 2018.

 

I wish life was simpler.

Edited by Sommanker

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Granted. All shapes are now spheres and all important constants are integer multiples of 10. There is a length of time the universe continues to exist before the changed forces of nature rip it apart into nothingness. Suddenly a void, all of reality is now much simpler, as there is no longer anything left to be complicated.

 

I wish that editing my statement of purpose didn't feel like ripping off my flesh.

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Granted, now it feels like ripping your very soul apart and you no longer have a personality as a result of it.

 

I wish I could stop procrastinating and wake up without feeling tired.

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Heh. You just now stop procrastinating.

 

I wish I held the word record for a speedrun on Kirby's Dream Course.

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Granted.

 

However, your evidence is destroyed and nobody believes you. To add insult to injury, someone else then releases a speed run 1 second faster than you claimed yours to be two days later.

 

I wish to become good at persuasion and debating.

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Granted. You are now phenomenal at convincing people to adopt wiener dogs and race them. Eventually, this trend spreads and becomes a worldwide phenomenon, spiraling quickly out of your control. It's not long before the feds are knocking at your door with claims of money laundering and animal abuse - unbeknownst to you, the first people you convinced to race their sausage-esque pups had been "donating" their winnings from the illegal betting rings they had been running on the races to an account in your name to dodge taxes. You take the fall, and they get away unscathed.

 

I wish I wasn't constantly paranoid.

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Granted, wait what is that behind you? 

 

I wish that Kikn would love me back.

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